I haven't written in a few days, but it was not because there was nothing happening. My mother's lower GI obstruction sorted itself out on Wednesday, so she spent Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday basically pooping. She was released from the hospital Saturday morning and went to tea with the rest of the family (and assorted friends, etc). I spoke to her on the phone during tea and she sounded happy.

She spent the night in a hotel, rather than the townhouse where everyone else was staying, because she cannot manage stairs. In fact, she cannot manage walking. A lot of fluid is being retained in her legs and she cannot walk at this point. She is also currently incontinent. Combined with the inability to get to the bathroom herself, this is not good.

Their flight left London this morning at 10:55 this morning, London time and arrived in Boston at 1:14. The last I heard, both a handicap-accessible cab and the van were waiting for my family to clear customs.

I do not know what will happen when she gets home. My elder sister, whose room is on the first floor of my parents' house, cleaned out her room of basically everything she owns. It all went into boxes so that my mother would have a place to be. I suspect she will want to be in her own bed upstairs, no matter what is involved in that. As I said above, I also suspect she will be headed back to the hospital tomorrow.

A big part of me hopes she comes home, goes to sleep with her husband of 54 years in her own bed in her own home, and doesn't wake up. And I feel horrible thinking that, because it means I am hoping my mother dies, but I do not believe this is how she would want to live.

I am trying to decide whether to go up to Massachusetts to see her. When I left her 18 days ago, I hugged her good-bye on her porch, surrounded by her plants. I started to tear up and she told said "hey, no tears." So I told her I loved her and said good-bye. As last good-byes go, that would be a pretty good one to stand on.